Memoirs of a SeeD
by Dragonbait
Summary: A short series of memoirs written by the characters of FF8 at the end of the game.
1. Instructor

Memoirs

**By Quis**

**Chapter One**

Quistis 

_How does it feel to be played for a fool?_ I questioned, as I knelt beside the dead body of my grandmother, Saria Trepe. Grandmother Saria had always been there for my mother and I, even though she was my father's mother. Now my grandmother was dead, and I was only three years old at the time.

I didn't understand what had happened exactly, but I felt a sense of longing for the staunch supporter Saria was. Mamma held my hand as we watched a box being lowered into the ground. A coffin, I was to realise later. Mamma had always been sick. Grandma used to take care of mam when she got so sick she would cough up blood. I remember that about my mother. She was always sick. 

My mother, Katherine Alexandros-Trepe was a beautiful woman. The only photo I have of her is her smiling, holding a small bundle, a baby girl- me, in her arms.  Her hair falls softly against her face, making mam look beautiful, flushed with the rosiness of motherhood. I am the spitting image of Katherine Alexandros, my mother. My father, Johannes Trepe married my mamma when she was only twenty. I found this out much later, after my mother's death. 

When mamma died, my aunt, the wonderful and kind (I'm being sarcastic, in case you can't tell), Annabel Trepe took me in for a few months. Sadly, I was not to stay there for very long.  Annabel Trepe only had me until I was old enough to be shipped to the Orphanage on the Cape of Good Hope, in Centra. Her reason was that I was too much trouble, which I suppose was true in some cases. 

I was only a young child of four when I met Seifer Almasy, Squall Leonhart, Selphie Tilmitt, Zell Dincht, Irvine Kinneas and Ellone Loire for the first time. 

Matron took my hand gently as she led me towards my playmates, which I estimated were around my age. 

"Children, I'd like you to meet Quistis." I can still hear Matron's voice saying that even now, when I'm supposed to have forgotten all of my past due to my training as a SeeD.

Part of what SeeDs undergo is the sacrifice of memories to make you stronger. The power of the GF is what makes SeeD elite. We are taught not to rely upon your emotion, and not to let emotions interfere in any part of a mission. We are _trained professionals_, the best of the best. We are, after all, merely puppets, a tool of the governments that hire us to do their work. We are mercenaries.

I suppose I speak for the mindless masses when I say that SeeD kill for the money only. It is what I was trained to do as a SeeD. My family, consisting of Squall, Seifer, Irvine, Selphie, Zell, Ellone and I were raised by Matron when we were very young. We had no definite clues about what would happen once we were out in the world.

I enrolled in Garden when I was six. My foster family, the Locke family, did everything they could to make me feel happy and content, but nothing quite worked. My foster brother, Eric, tried to kill me one day, when I was playing in the lounge room; minding my own business, when he comes up, and points a gun to my face.  I screamed, and got Mrs. Locke, who told Eric off, and sent him to his room. Needless to say, Eric was punished. I got the backlash of Eric's behaviour, though.

SeeD is more than just being a mercenary. We have ethics, codes that we strongly adhere to, even in the most difficult of situations.

            My first SeeD mission was an absolute nightmare. I can still hear the scream of the person I was sent to kill. My friend, Xu was also on this mission with me. We were to assassinate the duke of Dollet, which we failed to do.  Although I'm breaching the SeeD privacy code article five line thirty, "a SeeD does not ever reveal any previous contracts", to say whom it was that ordered Xu, Alana and I to kill the Duke, I will do so. 

The person who ordered Alana, Xu and I to kill the Duke was a resistance faction in Galbadia. I believe it was the son of Vinzer Deling, a man by the name of Walter Deling. This may come as a shock to the people of Deling, but its true. We acted upon the wording of our contract, thus giving us a higher rank than what people my age have.

I was only fifteen, and an assassin. I'd done my job down to the last order, which was to dispose of the body. I was shocked and horrified at what I'd done, and I became disillusioned.  When I protested to Headmaster Cid, he laughed, saying that I'd done my job perfectly, and that he was giving me a promotion and a pay rise.

At the age of sixteen, I was selected as part of a team of SeeDs wishing to become instructors. With me, several other students were sent.  Alana was one of those students who became an instructor like me. Only she teaches at Galbadia Garden now, not Balamb.

My training as an instructor was easy enough. Just graduate fifteen students within two years to receive your licence. I was only very young, but I managed to do so. It may seem silly to say this, but the students I taught were some of my friends and acquaintances. Three of these people come to mind. Zell Dincht, a brash and fiery young man, with a dragon tattoo on the side of his face, Squall Leonhart, a very cold, introverted loner, and last, but not least, Seifer Almasy.

            SeeD ethics dictate a very harsh law against student relationships. We are not supposed to have intimate relationships, but most of us have them, regardless. I know for a fact that Selphie Tilmitt and Irvine Kinneas are in a steady relationship, peacefully aiming for a wedding soon. Squall and the Sorceress Rinoa, too are in a very steady relationship, far away from the life of Garden. It is not safe to have Sorceress Rinoa among us, for fear of Galbadia's attacks. They are living in Winhill.

            I became somewhat disillusioned after the great battle with Ultimecia. I wandered a lot after I left my job at Garden. I quit due to strong dislike that was evident in my fellow teachers. They despised me and I despised the things I used to do. So I left

            I wandered the world, and settled finally in Shumi Village. I have become an artisan in Shumi, a teacher of the ways of the Shumi. In some ways, it is a peaceful village, but I still find no refuge there. 

            Many months are spent in isolation, but I become used to it as I gradually change how I look. Gone are my short golden tresses, my hair reaches the ground when it is let out of its heavy braid I always keep it in. I wear shapeless robes, not the peach coloured battle gear I wore whilst saving the world from Ultimecia.  I no longer resemble the Ice Bitch I used to be, as I am slowly showing more of my feelings, and learning to let go of my anger and frustration.

~

            "Quistis, there is a visitor for you," a Shumi said, walking over to where Quistis sat at her desk. 

            "Send them away, I don't want any disturbances" Quistis said, as she lifted her head from the terminal. 

"They refuse to be sent away. Sculptor is scared of the weapon he carries" Sculptor quaked.

            "Very well, let him in" Quistis gave an exasperated sigh as she set her pen down. She stood up to greet the visitor.

            Seifer Almasy strode into the room a few seconds later. "Quistis" he said simply, "how are you?" There was no trace of mocking or sarcasm in his voice, it sounded genuinely concerned for the ex-instructor.

            "I am well, Seifer." Quistis replied, "what brings you here, to Shumi?"

Seifer gave a smile. He did not reply to Quistis's question for a short time, instead, he walked over to where she was standing. 

"I came to see you. I heard you were in Shumi, so I decided to take a visit up to Shumi on my SeeD vacation pass." Seifer gave a grin as he said this, his smile making him look more impish than ever.

"You've finally made SeeD, Seifer, well done." Quistis said quietly, a smile on her face.

"I came to ask you something, Quistis." Seifer told her as he took her arm gently and led her over to the fire. "Will you marry me?"

Quistis had tears streaming down her face; her hands covered her eyes as she smiled at him. "Yes, Seifer" she said.

The End 


	2. Commander

My darling angel.  
  
I write this knowing it will never reach you. I am to be sentenced to death in the early hours of tomorrow morning. My cell is high, so I can just see the night sky.  
  
The sky tonight reminds me of the night we met. When it was filled entirely of stars, my heart had been cold and empty, but then I saw you.  
  
You waltzed into my life that night, demanding that I dance with you. Yet I was already enamoured of you, from the minute I first met you, I knew you were the one.  
  
Hyne! I'm rambling, but it's not my fault. Being in this cell makes me think-a thing I'd rather not have to do. But, when you're condemned for such a henious war crime you get thinking on all the things you've done in life. I'd prefer not to think too much, but that's all I can do.  
  
I love you, Rinoa.  
  
Your knight forever  
  
Squall.  
  
I glanced at the letter I had just written, then looked out at the dull metalic bars of the cell I am kept in. I am here because I betrayed Garden, just like my archrival, Seifer. Both of us betrayed our origins-only he did it for glory, I did it for love.   
  
My love for her keeps me sane, if not in constant anxiety about what my fate is. Whatever it is, I'll always be there for Rinoa, regardless of if I've died in battle, or in the void between real time, and Time Compression. I know I'll be eternally greatful for her love  
  
The way I saw it, we were destined to be together, even if I had fought valliantly against my destiny, I knew, the minute I saw her that we were to be together. There was something about the way she smiled at me, her tantalizing smile that made me want to smile in spite of myself. The times she got angry with me, I knew I'd let her down.   
  
But I betrayed Garden, for her sake. That is my crime, and for that I must die.  
  
~  
The Next day  
~  
  
"Is this the one?" A man's voice spoke up, bringing the man back into the real world.   
  
"Yes, the vermin who betrayed SeeD for the love of his sorceress, if he is to be believed" another person spoke.  
  
Squall was jerked up onto his feet by a coiled whip. He stumbled as he tried to stand, and glanced up.  
  
The people speaking were Seifer Almasy, and the woman looked like it was Quistis.  
  
'It can't be Quisty, she's in Shumi' Squall thought, taking a closer look at the woman.  
  
The woman turned around, to reveal the face of Edea Kramer.  
  
"Squall Leonhart, you are condemned to death for betraying Garden. I'm sorry Squall...I have to do this," Edea said, raising her hand to cast Death.  
  
"Squaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!" Rinoa's agonized voice cried, "No!"  
  
Edea turned to see the petite sorceress. "I'm sorry, Rinoa."  
  
~fin~  
  
A/N Sorry chapter 2 took so long to write, I had the most incredible inspiration for it today while on a walk...r&r. 


End file.
